Januari 20, 2014

Random Things

So well, new year is comiiing!
Yaaiy i should be happy even though i don't know why i should be happy hahaha
But i wanna be pretty, so i should be happy. You know, the analogy between pretty and happy.
Okay forget it, i will directly jump to the main topic.
What is that? Oh nah, nothing, actually. You people can stahp me now (yes, with that british accent).

I know that i have a quirky interest of psychology so that i read randomly about psychology. Yeah it's so random that i can construct them structured in my mind. I am just knowledgeable in a short time, in a blink of an eye, because you know i read that i read this, open that tab and open another tab, and i HAVE a serious disorder attacking my mind, yes, short term memory loss. *please if you want to applause for this shit, you can stay sitting, standing applause isn't needed here*

Last night i was extremely breakdown for my stupidity. Once i have been tested for an IQ. FYI, i don't believe in the scale of IQ of people. I've been tested, and i got the result that my IQ was embarrassing me. Not that low, but i thought that was LOW. It seemed like i have my own standard of intelligence and i was ashamed with the rest.

What was happening on earth now?

People can be smart as they wand and IF they want.
As simple as that. It's all about the trait. How far the traits affects the intelligence? 

Can high IQ guarantee people to be good?
I once read a quote, it said that it is so horrible that around us there's a smartie who has no confidence, but there are a bunch of dumb people who have confidence more than what they need. Horrible. HORRIBLE.
I do agree with Nelson Mandela that said: education is the most powerful weapon  which you can use to change the world.
But it doesn't mean that educated person does also have educated behavior. 
So it can be my excuse. Bahahahak.
An excuse to stay being dumb? Come on, you don't get my point.

Dear friends, education is in everywhere. In every single place we visit. In every single sight we glimpse. So there's no reason for us to stop learning. 
But all in all, i want to warn you, that educated person does also have educated behavior. I warn you. I WARN YOU.

Januari 07, 2014

Keep My Soul Intact

Life is not a joke.
Remember the old proverb, you are a winning sperm that reached an ovum. You are good, at least.

Last night i got my eyes teary all over again. Discriminative does really exist. Not about your tribe,  nor religion, it is about, what we call? I dunno, i just don't understand what others may think about me.

Life is not a joke, what the hell is happening, i still have a willing to live the life by my own way, being my self, truly. It is possible that there's another person dislike you. And you don't have the right to control them. You better control your own mind. Be grateful, and be good of you.

Some say that you were not put on this earth to please everybody. That sentence is not entirely wrong, nor right. The fact is, you can't please others while you're not pleased. Are you happy enough? What's the definition of happiness? What matters is, that you used to be over-thinking. Or, in this case, me, myself. I do over-thinking over things. Or people. That's why, over-thinking kills is really true.
We don't have the right to control others, then why we should think of what they may think about us?

Life is not a joke. But it's funny sometimes.
@Ryudeka said, the first time you grow up is the first time you laugh at yourself. Just thought about it. When was the first time i laughed at myself? At my stupidity?

People grow up, people grow mature.
I tried so hard to be better day by day. To focused only to myself, and my psyche. Manage my internal mind. But life always has two sides. One-sided life of me wasn't enough. Sometimes i fall. Sometimes i wake up. Sometimes when i fall i need a shoulder to cry on, or sometimes i just need a couple of ears to listen to me.

The translation of "think others first" into "think yourself first" is not that easy. I used to think of others first, and forget to think myself, nor what i feel. I ignored myself. The happiness inside. 
Read so many articles about how to be happy, how to be jolly, how to kill the pain. Not a waste of time, but sometimes, everything starts from my own self.

Be good, be good to others. Expect less, do more. Hope zero. Zero? It is like, be good to others, but never expect their replies. @Justsilly once said, feeling good by doing good. Good is not God, by the way. But God must be beyond good. I felt it this morning. This morning, i was so gloomy. I was searching of what i want, and what i should do. I used to live in a peace environment, i used to live in a stable environment. Then suddenly i entered the real world. I shud be tougher than ever. I shud be more mature, and i shud pass through all the storms that may come. While, i shud stay happy to keep my sanity intact.
Ah yes, talk is cheap :D

This morning, i went to the repairman bag. My bag was damaged, so i wanted to fix it. Then yes, i waited my bag to be repaired and still thinking what should i do next. I was so desperate last night, i lost for words, my heart was really hurt, and i kept the pain for a long time. That was not easy. NOT EASY. 
I just wanna feel free, free for being myself, free of what what people comment about my self and my life. Anybody always anything to say. So, yeah.
After my bag being repaired...
Me : berapa Bu?
She: kersane pun pinten Mbak.
Me : biasanipun pinten Buk?
She: nggih kalih ewu mawon.
Me : *ngasih limaribuan* itu aja semua ndapapa Buk.
She: Wah, jangan Mbak, sebentar saya carikan kembaliannya dulu ya.
Me : Ndapapa Buk, ndapapa, kembaliannya bawa aja buat Ibu.
She: Wah maap Mbak, belum ada uang kecil hari ini.
Me : Iya, sudah ndapapa Bu. Rejeki Ibu.
She: Kalo gitu, tali yang satunya saya kencengin sekalian aja ya.

Got more! Feeling good by doing good, checked. Got more by doing good, checked. No, i didn't expect that bonus, i just looked for sobriety. The sentence: feeling good by doing good. 
It is how i treat people, not how they react about my treatment. That's totally their own rights, out of my control.