2013

The title is so boring. The euphoria, the parties, the celebrations, the everything-happy-new-year-stuffs. They’re completely exaggerated. Maybe it’s only my own ego that i spent the night alone in my room, been watching DVDs until my eyes got tired and fell asleep without greeting happy new year’s words to my friends at 02:00 a.m.

And the one texted a happy new year blesses for me was my Boss in the office. How worse it could be?

The older the year, the sooner we’re going to be apart with the ones we used to stick around together. I worry. I worry about the doomsday. I mean, the real doomsday, the day when we’re really alone, a mono-creature with no others to share times, words, love, whatever.

They people make a wish list for the new year to fulfill their new spirit. I think they do the same old shit, repetition because when the second day of January comes, everything’s gonna be felt the same old days. The new year’s euphoria finally vanish. Don’t they better to keep well what they’ve already had and try to be a bit realistic of making a new wish list? Because, well, i do.

I have no many goals to be reached for in this 2013. I make it simple, i call it ‘better of me’. The theme is, I should not cry as often as i did before. Yeah, i was a brokenhearted girl with no regrets of being an asocial for the result. I was growing to be anon-believer and i was happy. Until this night.

I wanted to believe the miracles on the new year’s night or the night before Christmas. I wanted to be who I was, 5 years back when I believed that fairytales did exist. I wanted to be who I used to be before a man broke my heart and made the new brand of me.

This is disgusting to tell you the truth of me. A pathetic girl who slept with tears last night. But this is my private party, and I’d like to share with you that the real new is not the year, but us, ourselves. So, share me your wish list. What? My wish list? It’s a very personal, it’s just me to be more cheerful, to be my old 5 years back of old me, and, get a new better job. The things I’m keeping in my mind are, Jogja (i don’t know but I think I cannot leave this town), my family, and me. I’m keeping myself, I’m saving her. So, happy new year 2013, everyone! J