Desember 20, 2012

Important Self-Conversation

I'm all upset.
For all i don't-know-things, i want to kill everyone i meet this day. Maybe, this is so called PMS. Or whatever related to hormones. This hour, i hate being a female, yet feminism stuffs, yet hormonal stuffs, yet everything sounds wrong.

At least a day in a week, i think we really need me-time to rethink what  i have done in this whole week. But as a social creature, being alone is just assumed as an asocial ones. How substantial the effects of the deeds of us. Our habit, our words, our voices, i think they're planned to be judged. Fuck.

That's why, me-time is important. Maybe this is weird, but at least an hour a day, randomly picking, i do self-conversation. Talk to myself, and cry in my own shoulder. Weirdo? Yes. But since many of people did hurt me, i was growing up as an unbeliever and that cool-silly conversation with my own self is necessary.

Once i met up with my psychologist friend, and i told her what were being my doubts, and she listened to me, until cried because by telling her all of mine, i was forced to remember all of the harsh deeds i have done to myself and it guaranteed me to be that tough. I've tried hard. Harder than what i could expect before. It's a pity of myself.

And my psychologist friend said, talk to our own self is good for our mental health :)

Sometimes, i think that someone somewhere is being talking about me for whatever reasons while i'm all alone think is there anyone do care about me.I called that: psycho narcissism. It sounds like mental disorder thingy but as long as it makes me glad, who cares? No happy, but assumptions are sometimes make me smile, like this :)

Well, it's a way much better of me to write what's on my mind. I love writing, i love self-conversation, i love depend on my own self, and i love my own life. Yeah, being a female is out of the frame (right now).

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